Thy Will Be Done: Four Principles of God’s Will for Friends of Jesus

John 15:12-17

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

Reader: God is still speaking

All: Thanks be to God

A few months ago, Ashlyn and I were traveling in Wisconsin for ministry with some Quaker meetings up there. And one night we were sitting in the hotel hot tub, enjoying some relaxation time, when another couple decided to get in with us. It was a bit awkward at first, but they were nice Boomers and good Midwesterns with Wisconsin accents. In their spirit of Midwest Nice, they decided to make conversation and asked what brought us to town.

Now, I am proud to be a Quaker and I like talking with folks about Quakerism. But it can be complicated. Quakers have divergent views on so many things, it’s hard to say “Quakers believe or do x, y, or z.” There are a few things. So I did my best to give a simple answer about my work with Quaker leaders that was befitting the hot tub context. 

The husband proceeded to ask if there were many Quakers in the area. 

I responded that there were some but there are more in places like Indiana, North Carolina, and Iowa. 

He said he thought I would say there were a lot because…he had seen several of them riding around in their horse and buggies… 

Quakers are not Amish. Like the Amish, we value simplicity and peace and Jesus and such…but in many ways we are quite different. 

Because Quakerism is complicated to explain, some prefer to talk about how we are members of the “Friends church.” But I’m not sure this is much better. 

The brand of “Friends” can have a lot of meanings. 

You’ve got the famous 90s sitcom called “Friends” – “I’ll be there for you,” etc. RIP Matthew Perry. 

And we’ve got the infamous “Friend-zoned” experience. Or the break-up line: “Can we just be friends” or “still be friends”? 

And sometimes, “friend” seems too casual a term to describe our identity as a spiritual community or our relationship to God. I think of people who describe Jesus as their buddy and pal. Sometimes it feels a little cheesy and a little too casual. 

I grew up in a Friends church in Ohio and many people in the community had no idea it was a Quaker meeting. They just thought it was a church of happy, friendly people. That’s not quite it.

Quakers were known as “Friends of Jesus” or “Friends of the Light” because they believed that God really enters into an interactive, personal relationship with each of us. They believed Jesus when he said he would let us know what God is up to and asks us to join in. And they really believed, when we follow that Light, we bring about the kingdom (or kin-dom) in the world. 

It’s a bold but beautiful claim that we are Friends of God through Jesus. The Swiss theologian Karl Barth wrote that God’s grace is shown in the way God calls us not only to the humility of a servant or the thankfulness of a child, but to the “intimacy and boldness of a friend.”

So if we take Jesus’ words and his prayer seriously, how does that change the way we think about God’s will?

I am going to propose four ways we can look at God’s will, in light of Jesus’ teaching and prayer. 

First, the will of God is always love. 

In today’s reading, Jesus said simply and clearly: “This is my command: love each other as I have loved you.” And throughout the gospels, Jesus is saying that the core of our calling as his followers is to love God and love our neighbors – “on these two commandments hang the Law and the Prophets.” 

There’s a famous story about another rabbi around the time of Jesus, named Rabbi Hillel. And the story goes that a Gentile came up to Rabbi Hillel and said: “I will convert to Judaism if you can recite the whole Torah while standing on one foot.” 

And the rabbi said, “No problem.” Standing on one foot, he said: “That which is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah. Everything else is commentary. Go and learn it.” 

Rabbi Jesus and Rabbi Hillel were in agreement on this. And interestingly, all the major world religions have some version of the Golden Rule. 

The saints throughout history have confirmed this organizing principle:

St. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians: “These three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

St. John wrote in one of his letters: “God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God.” 

St. Julian of Norwich wrote: “Love is God’s meaning.” 

And St. John of the Cross wrote: “In the evening of life, we will be examined (or judged) on love alone.” 

So, what is God’s will? It’s as simple as this: Love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. 

It’s that simple but it’s also that complicated. 

Quakers are known to reflect on the query: “What does love require of me?” 

We all have to work on the details of what love looks like in particular situations and relationships. It can get complicated and messy. 

But there is something freeing about remembering that at the heart of it all is love. Love is God’s commandment and our calling. The rest is commentary.

Secondly, the will of God reflects God’s dreams for the world. 

The last time we were together, we remembered the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. And surely his most famous speech was his “I Have a Dream” speech, delivered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in D.C. There is something powerful when someone puts forth a dream or vision for how the world should be and could be. 

Similarly, Desmond Tutu, who played a central role as a spiritual voice in ending apartheid in South Africa and leading the Truth and Reconciliation process that followed, said: “God Has a Dream.” He said, in essence, we are living in a nightmare of our own making – full of poverty and violence and racism – but God wants to transform that human nightmare into the divine dream. Where we live together in justice and harmony and freedom. 

Jesus said, I no longer call you servants but friends, because the servant doesn’t know what their master is doing. But I’ve shown you who God is and what God is up to. Jesus has shown us the dream of God, also known as the kingdom of God. 

So it’s not about being a servant or slave to God, Who says, “Do this and that” and don’t talk back and don’t ask questions.” As we grow in our faith, God relies less on the classic parental statement: “Because I said so” but instead says: “Because I have dreams and I want you to be part of them. You have an important part to play.” 

Maybe giant spiritual figures like King and Tutu taking on oppressive national systems can be intimidating. But I think God has dreams for all the places and people that are closer to home for each of us. Maybe God has dreams for how you use your home or your land. Maybe God has dreams for your farm or school or business. It may not be taking down an oppressive system. It may be alleviating loneliness for a couple students. It may be bringing some new art and color to your workplace. It may be starting a new business that meets a local need. Whatever it is, God is creative and active and enjoys making divine dreams come true.

When we pray “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done,” we are saying: “I know You have dreams for our world. And I want to see them made real.” 

Thirdly, the will of God makes room for our desires.  

In our reading today, Jesus said, “I chose you and called you and whatever you want to ask in my name, ask for it. And God will give it to you.” 

Now, I want to be careful here because I’m not talking about the prosperity gospel and the whole “name it, claim it” thing. I’m not saying “Ask for a Ferrari and God’s gonna get it for you.” 

But I am saying that God doesn’t dream alone and God doesn’t do things alone. God is relational and collaborative and generous. God makes room for us and wants to include us. 

And when you read the Bible closely, you see that God doesn’t act unilaterally. Meaning, God is always looking for partners and friends to make things happen in the world. 

Jesus didn’t just teach and heal and save by himself – he gathered companions and disciples. And even in the very beginning, God didn’t just create the world in isolation. God said “Let us make human beings in our image.” There’s an interesting discussion about who God was talking about, but the point is that God has kept on saying “Let us make” ever since.  

God does things in the world through partnership. God has dreams and wants us to join in. But God also wants us to share our dreams, to dream with God. Rabbi Abraham Heschel wrote that “To pray is to dream in league with God.” 

So God invites us to bring our desires and dreams to God and compare them to God’s dreams to see what we can do together. 

There are several points in the gospels where Jesus goes up to someone and says: “What do you want me to do for you?” 

He wants us to name our desire: whether that desire is for our own healing and transformation or a dream for peace and justice in the world or renewal and revitalization for our county. God loves to hear these dreams and desires and when we make them available to God, some really cool things can happen. It seems that God wants us to want things.  

On our Thanksgiving Sunday, I preached on the Psalm that talked about God bringing back the people from exile and it says: “they were like those who dreamed.” 

And I said that we are starting to see a return of some dreams for Lost Creek Friends and wondered if 2024 could be a year for Lost Creek in which we would be “like those who dreamed.” I still want to see that. And I have an inkling that God wants that as well. 

Maybe, as we pray “Thy will be done,” God is responding with a question to us: “What do you want me to do for you?” What are your hopes and dreams and desires for Lost Creek and for Jefferson County? Let’s see what we can do together…

St. Augustine famously said: “Love God and do what you will.” That doesn’t mean we can just go around doing whatever we want, disregarding our own and our neighbor’s well-being, and disregarding God’s voice. The point is that as we learn to love and become more like Christ, our desires naturally become more aligned to God’s desires. As we grow in love and wholeness and holiness, we can trust, more and more, the desires of our heart.

I have come to believe, in the words of theologian Tom Oord, that God is uncontrolling. God doesn’t want to control every move we make. 

Does God have specific things that God wants us to do? Yes, I believe so. Should we seek divine guidance and wisdom for our decisions? Of course. I’ve had times when it seemed like God was saying “Do this” or “go here.” 

But I don’t think God is out to control our every step. Does God want me to get vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Does God want me to get a cheeseburger or chicken sandwich or impossible burger? Or even, should I go to this college or that university? 

We learn from Jesus and his prayer that God looks at us like a loving parent. A healthy parent is not interested in controlling every move their child makes, they are invested in them learning how to live and love and reach their potential and flourish in the world. 

A couple years ago, I was getting burned out on a graduate program I was doing and was seriously considering dropping out. So I went on a prayer walk and was really earnestly seeking God’s leading for this decision. Honestly, I was so agonized over it that I wanted God to say Yes or No or give me some clear sign about what to do. 

But after I had shared all my thoughts and feelings and questions, I decided to be quiet and give God space to speak. 

So God did. Now, I’m not one who hears clear messages from God all the time. But in this case, it was very clear. (It was not audible but it almost felt like it was external.) And I heard two words: “You choose.”

I think I laughed out loud but I was actually pretty frustrated with God. 

I realized, though, that my seeking God’s will wasn’t so much about respecting my relationship with God as it was trying to rid myself of responsibility. I could say: “Well, God told me to do it so I guess I better do it.” Then if something goes wrong, I can just blame God. 

But it felt like, in that case, God was refusing to be used in that way. Instead, God looked at me with love and wanted to call forth the potential in me to be an adult child of God. Like a loving parent, God wanted me to grow up and make my own decisions so that I can truly flourish. 

“You choose” can feel dismissive but I think it’s actually an expression of the freedom and flexibility that characterizes God’s will. God wants us to exercise our freedom and make decisions and God wants us to want things. We are not servants but friends. We are not spiritual babies but adult children of God.

Fourthly and finally, the will of God is eternally resourceful. 

In our reading today, Jesus said that we were chosen to bear fruit and fruit that lasts. Lasting fruit. God is playing a long game; God has an eternal perspective. God is invested in our flourishing and fruitfulness. God is carefully cultivating our lives and the life of the world. 

But sometimes, when it comes to God’s will, we freak out because we are afraid we are going to miss it. We are going to have one bad moment or make one bad move and we will ruin everything. 

But God’s will is not nearly so fragile. As the apostle Paul wrote: “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.” Nothing. 

And God’s mercy and creativity are infinitely more resourceful than our bad decisions or shortsightedness. 

Don’t get me wrong. Our actions do matter. Our actions can genuinely harm ourselves and our neighbors and creation itself. History is full of the reverberating consequences of harmful decisions made by people who refused the will of God. 

That being said, remember that God is not trying to control our every move but to help us flourish and is not seeking to condemn the world but to heal it. And God has way more ideas than we do about how to work things together for good.  

So, if we take one path, God walks with us and brings the best from those possibilities. And if we take another path, God walks with us there and brings the best out of those possibilities. 

There’s a fascinating story in the book of Genesis about a man named Abram, who would later become Abraham, the father of the great monotheistic religions of the world. 

In Genesis 13, we learn that Abram and his relative Lot were living and traveling near each other and were both doing well and growing their flocks and herds and workers. Eventually, the herders between the two camps started to quarrel. 

I recently watched 1923, which is a spin-off show, a prequel to the show Yellowstone. And it was a reminder of how dangerous the tensions can become between landowners or ranchers competing for resources. In the show, the competition for grazing land, made more serious by economic conditions, turned violent. And this has been a common story throughout history. 

But Abram, wise and godly, wants to avoid this conflict. So he says: “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.” 

Lot goes one direction and ends up getting into a lot of trouble (no pun intended). And Abram accepts his decision and goes the other direction. In that land, God tells him to look around and walk around and tells him this will be the land of his blessing. He and his family would be blessed and would be a blessing to many others. 

Whether we go this way or that, God goes with us and makes it a place of blessing. For us and for those around us. God is eternally and beautifully resourceful that way. 

The poet Mary Oliver wrote: “Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.” 

Indeed, we can be blessed, and be a blessing, wherever we are. And it is right here and now where we can find the will of God. 

Wherever we are, we are cared for by our heavenly parent. Wherever we stand, we are Friends of Jesus. Wherever we are, there are possibilities for God’s kingdom dreams. 

I’ll close with Jesus’ words in Luke 12: “Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

So we remember: 

• The will of God is always love
• The will of God reflects God’s dreams for the world
• The will of God makes room for our desires
• The will of God is eternally resourceful

As we enter a time of open or waiting worship, let’s listen for God’s dreams and share our dreams. Let’s reflect on God’s will for us in this place and time. 

If it’s helpful, I offer these queries or questions, also found in your bulletin:

1. How has your view of God’s will changed over time?
2. What dreams do you think God has for our congregation and community?
3. What do you want God to do for you, or for us?

Let Go with Grace

Friendly Reminder: A weekly reflection from the Quaker Leadership Center

Let Go with Grace

I recently came upon a quote that unsettled me a bit, but I believe it speaks to my condition and to the condition of many Friends leaders. It comes from biblical scholar Walter Brueggemann: “The world for which you have been so carefully prepared is being taken away from you, by the grace of God.”

We live in a time of rapid cultural and congregational change. The pandemic only exacerbated those changes. Don’t you get tired of living in “unprecedented times”? Most of us find ourselves doing things we: didn’t plan on, weren’t trained in, aren’t prepared for. And perhaps the most unsettling part is that there is nothing to indicate we are going “back to normal.” We are living the “new normal” now, aware that the “new new normal” is soon to follow. Is normal even a useful category any longer? It feels like the world “for which [we] have been so carefully prepared” is being taken away from us. It’s hard to know how to be useful and faithful in such a time as this.

But the part that gets me is Brueggeman’s attribution of agency to God’s grace. Is it God who is disrupting and destroying all the solid ground beneath us? Whatever happened to the One who “set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Ps. 40:2)? Whether or not God is the primary agent in all this disruption, we can trust that God will not waste it. God will “make the winds his messengers” (Ps. 104:4), so to speak. And maybe the message is that it was never about silence or “Quaker process” or “effective pastoral ministry” or SPICE or anything else. Those are all tools at our disposal, and God’s disposal. But even if they are all swept away and all our lovely meetinghouses shut down, God can raise up the rocks to cry out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cheering for the “fall of Friends”! I want to revitalize and expand the Society of Friends. I believe we have an important role in the healing and transforming work God is doing in the world. But maybe we need reminded that sometimes change, and the resulting loss and disorientation, is actually happening “by the grace of God.”

Thankfully, the ever-creating Spirit is close by, “hovering over the chaos” (Gen. 1:2). English mystic Julian of Norwich wrote: “First there is the fall, and then we recover from the fall. Both are the mercy of God.” A difficult saying. If it’s true it’s not because of divine predestination and control. It’s due to the infinite resourcefulness of God. And God’s amazing grace. The grace that enables us to endure disruption is the same grace that enables us to adapt and innovate.

If we, as leaders losing the world we were prepared for, can trust divine grace, and exhibit “grace under pressure,” to borrow Hemingway’s definition of courage, we might survive. We may even do better than that. Maybe we get to be co-creators with God.

So we sing the old song:

Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come;

‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

What are being called to let go of?

What new creation is coming out of the chaos?

How do you see the grace of God in the mix?

Tell Them About the Dream

Last week we celebrated Martin Luther King Day and, as usual, the most quotes I saw on social media were drawn from his “I Have a Dream” speech. The fascinating thing about that famous speech, though, is that the entire dream section was improvised. King and his advisors debated the themes to address for the March on Washington and eventually the “bad check” theme won the day. On the day of the march, King gave his prepared speech using the check metaphor; it was fine but fairly low-key by King standards.

And then, when it seemed to lull, King heard a voice behind him declare: “Tell them about the dream, Martin! Tell them about the dream!” It was gospel singer Mahalia Jackson, a dear friend of King’s. Taking her encouragement to heart, King went off script, his energy lifted, the crowd responded, and we all received the gift of a history-shaping speech.

This story demonstrates two important leadership roles. One role is to “tell about the dream.” The other is to “tell others to tell about the dream.” Both are indispensable roles and when we have them both in our meetings, churches, and organizations, renewal is not far off.

As Friends, we are sometimes careful about promoting individual “dreams and visions.” It seems a little un-Quakerly, a little audacious. We can’t have “weighty Friends” getting too big for their britches. So we do the “tall poppy” thing where we cut off anyone who stands a little taller or gets a little too excited. It’s wise to be cautious, lest we promote celebrity or veer off from our common commitments. But what if God gave them a dream that the meeting or organization or wider society needs? Sometimes the risk of obstructing the divine dream is greater than the risk of running ahead of the Guide.

I’ve come to appreciate the perspective of Friendly scholar and activist Walter Wink, who wrote: “When God wants to initiate a new movement in history, God does not intervene directly but sends us dreams and visions that can, if attended to, initiate the process.” Good leaders look for those dreams and visions rising among Friends and welcomes them as signs of the Spirit’s work.

What is your dream? Is it time to share or declare it?

Who do you know that carries a dream quietly? Do they need your encouragement?

Are you being called to be an MLK or a Mahalia Jackson?

Seek and Shape Consensus

This Monday was Martin Luther King Day, a special day of honoring the legacy of a remarkable, prophetic figure. It’s also a day with lots of MLK quotes on social media. Most of them out of context. Then there are those who anoint themselves the guardians of King’s legacy and make it their mission to correct everyone who quotes him without committing to his full vision of social change.

I think the guardians and the misquoters are both missing the point. A truly prophetic leader will comfort and confront all of us, all along the political spectrum. None of us own Dr. King, his quotes, or his legacy.

What about us? How does King’s witness challenge us as Friends? One of his popular quotes has been working on me this week:

“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.”

How might this speak to our condition? I’m not entirely sure. But I know it makes me uncomfortable in a good way.

As Friends, we make decisions by consensus (or “sense of the meeting” or “coming to unity” or “discerning God’s will”). We listen, we share, we wait, and minute the sense of the meeting. We believe that the Spirit can be trusted to speak to us and shape us in the process. So we don’t need to do all the speaking or try to shape the opinions of everyone else. Transformation happens by convincement not coercion, I’ve heard Friends say. This is part of our testimony of trust in the leadership of the Light, Christ, Spirit, and to the efficacy of nonviolence.

But King was speaking about an American landscape that did not broadly support his public ministry. There was not a consensus in support of the civil rights movement. He had to act in faith, regardless of public opinion. Many Quaker leaders throughout history have had to pursue their calling without a consensus of support from their meeting. Some of the historic Quaker figures we admire most had to follow the Light, forward by faith, even when their meeting wasn’t ready (or even actively opposed them).

Herein lies the tension of prophetic ministry among Friends. We value the individual leadings of Friends but maintain the importance of testing and seasoning those leadings in community. We seek consensus but also seek to co-create a world for which many have no vision or faith.

I certainly don’t have the answers and believe context is key. But can we receive from Dr. King a Friendly Reminder that leaders are called to shape consensus and not just seek it? And, can we do both? Can Friends name and nurture a “sense of the meeting” while also calling the congregation to new steps on the growing edge? Can we celebrate the lion and the lamb coexisting in reluctant restraint while also working toward the day when they lay down with one another in the peaceable kingdom?

Seeking and shaping consensus is a terribly difficult tension to hold. Nothing less than “wisdom from above” (James 3:17) makes it possible. Rabbi Edwin Friedman would remind us that leaders must be “non-anxious” and “self-differentiated” to persevere into real change. Those are tall orders. But maybe you can at least manage a non-anxious moment long enough to consider how you are being called to seek or shape consensus in your meeting or community. And ask for wisdom, I’ve heard that the Divine “gives generously to all without finding fault” (James 1:5).

Be Fruitful and Minister

I recently listened to a podcast in which author Jen Pollock Michael was being interviewed about her book “In Good Time.” She was talking about the ways we view time and time management and suggested that people of faith should think in terms of “fruitfulness” rather than “productivity.” I haven’t stopped thinking about that quote since I heard it.

These things are on our mind as we begin a new year and look ahead to what 2023 may bring for our life and leadership. The new year may inspire excitement or dread, or maybe it feels like just another turn of the calendar. But I suspect most of us fluctuate between the energy of possibility and the heaviness of responsibility. There is a lot to do! We have to get moving!

So we turn to gurus of time management to help us cram it all into our schedules. We hope a new trick or tip will help us do what feels impossible. I’ve read a number of books on time management and there are a lot of useful insights and tools in them. But there’s something missing. Something we don’t want to face and the gurus don’t want to tell us: we are finite creatures. We can do wonderful things. We are doing beautiful things. But we can’t do everything.

This trouble of facing our limitations is often exacerbated by our failure to lift our work up to the Light for guidance. Thomas Kelly describes our condition when he says:

“Much of our acceptance of multitudes of obligations is due to our inability to say No. We calculated that that task had to be done, and we saw no one ready to undertake it. We calculated the need, and then calculated our time, and decided maybe we could squeeze it in somewhere. But the decision was a heady decision, not made within the sanctuary of the soul.”

I’m familiar with these feelings; actually, I feel them right now. And I acknowledge the complexity of accepting responsibilities, honoring relationships, and taking time to discern. But the invitation to a life of fruitfulness resonates with me.

It seems to me that fruitfulness includes at least three qualities that are missing from our focus on productivity.

1.) Seasons- Seasons are a good and natural part of life. We take things up and lay them down, we work and rest, we embrace rhythms, we plant and harvest. We read the signs of the times and plan accordingly.

2.) Context- Some plants thrive better in our context and ecosystem than others. We can let go of projects and plans that will not thrive in our particular place and time. We can look for what’s alive and growing and nurture it.

3.) Community- We are not alone and we are part of a web of life. We are collaborators in a symbiotic relationship of God, natural processes, and our own agency. It’s not all up to us. We do our part and include our partners. And we trust God’s slow but beautiful work is unfolding in good time.

A friend of mine once said: “The kingdom of God is botanical, not mechanical.” I think he’s right. And I think that’s what makes fruitfulness a better approach than productivity. We are not machines but “plantings of the Lord” (Is. 61:3) for such a time and place as this.

Kelly tells us such a life is possible when we live a life “from the Center.”

“And I find [God] never guides us into an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness. The Cosmic Patience becomes, in part, our patience, for after all God is at work in the world. It is not we alone who are at work in the world, frantically finishing a work to be offered to God.”

In this new year, may you embrace your limits, engage your possibilities, and work within the Cosmic Patience of God. However you garden this year, may you be fruitful and minister.

Look for the Life

This is a season of darkness, dormancy, and even death. As someone who lives with seasonal affective disorder, I sometimes dread the arrival of winter. And yet, I do enjoy snow, and the holidays, and cozy evenings inside. A couple years ago, I read a book called Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May. It is full of wisdom and it helped me realize how much suffering American folks like me have created for ourselves by “raging against the dying of the light.” When we learn to accept the reality and beauty of seasons, we can relax into a receptive state to receive the arrival of surprising gifts. When we accept the presence of darkness, dormancy, and death, we find ourselves surprised by the presence of light, energy, and life. Even in the wintertimes.

Quaker minister Scott Wagner recently brought forth this idea of surprising life in a post on Facebook, drawing on the biblical visions of Isaiah. He wrote:

Later this morning, my prepared message will be in Isaiah 11:1-10 and the shoot that grows from the dead stump…the “shoot” of new life. It’s caused me to wonder what the new, green “shoots” of life will look like from the stump of Quakerism. Understandably, there is alot of hand wringing going on around the future of Quakers and small numbers and struggling meetings. Maybe Isaiah and Advent invite us to pay attention to the new “shoots” of life that are emerging in our very midst. Maybe these new “shoots” of new life have the potential to bear the fruit of the peaceable kingdom that Isaiah so beautifully describes. We as Quakers might feel like stumps, but maybe there are new “shoots” of flourishing life in our very midst. Pay attention.

That Friend speaks my mind. Let’s not pretend there is no winter. Let’s not pretend we don’t see signs of darkness, dormancy, and decay– in our inner life, in our Society of Friends, in our world. But let’s also be open to signs of new life, even small ones.

Leaders look for life. And they invite others to look for it. And they nurture and celebrate life, because it is so often a sign of the Spirit.

There is “that of God” in every season.

Point the Finger

FRIENDLY REMINDER: A weekly reflection from the Quaker Leadership Center.

Point the Finger.

One of my favorite things to do these days is spending time with my little nieces. It’s fun to watch them grow through each stage of development. One of them, who is about to turn one, is in a pointing stage. She has learned how to lift her tiny hand and point her finger toward something or someone she wants to touch or play with or put in her mouth. With me, she likes to point her finger up to the ceiling fan so I will push the blades around and get it whirling.

It’s cute. But she’s also “pointing out” something important about leadership. Not about pointing to things we want to play with. Not about “pointing the finger” in blame. But “pointing the finger” in praise. Yes, to God. But also toward those in our organization, meeting, or business who are doing good work.

We often approach recognition and appreciation through the lens of scarcity. We worry that if we lift up someone else’s ministry, then ours won’t get noticed. We fear that giving someone credit publicly means our contribution will go unrecognized. But healthy leadership moves with an abundance mentality. We don’t have to compete and tussle for power and praise. There is plenty to go around. And we need each other to do the sacred work we are called to do.

At the Quaker Leadership Center, we decided early on that we did not want to compete with other Friends leaders and organizations. We wanted to learn about and lift up Quaker leaders doing all kinds of creative, spiritual work in the world. We want to support their ministry, learn from them, and be clear about our own scope of work. In other words, we want to people who point the finger.

Giving thanks and praise to others is not only a nice spiritual practice. It’s also a skillful leadership move. In the words of writer and activist Lynne Twist, “what we appreciate, appreciates.” When we appreciate initiative, integrity, and creativity, those qualities tend to expand in our organization. Appreciation encourages the one receiving praise to continue their good work, it lifts up examples for others to emulate, and cultivates a positive culture others want to join.

This Thanksgiving week, I invite you to choose two or three people you want to publicly praise. Say thank you. Say well-done. Be specific. Be public. You can do it during a Sunday morning service, using social media, or a staff meeting. There’s no need for scarcity and competition in the peaceable kingdom. Give your praise generously. Point the finger.

Practicing the Prophetic Pause

“Practicing the Prophetic Pause”
Wilmington Friends Meeting

I’ve recently been drawn to a passage in the gospel of John, which is often called the story of the woman caught in adultery. Though N.T. Wright suggests it should actually be called “the men caught in
hypocrisy.”

It’s a fascinating story for several reasons. One is that it wasn’t included in most early
manuscripts of John’s gospel. It was a later addition. Within a couple hundred years of
Jesus’ death, however, we see the story being referenced in sermons and books. But it
remained a contested gospel passage. St. Augustine theorized that many men opposed it
because it might give their wives permission to sleep around.

It doesn’t bother me that it wasn’t original to John. It actually makes me more attentive
to the story because there were people of faith saying “this wasn’t in the original but it’s
so good and so transformative that we have to include it.” And it’s consistent with the
way Jesus talked and acted throughout his life and ministry, even in John’s gospel (for
example: Jesus’ engagement with the woman at the well in Jn. 4),

While widely beloved and accepted now, the story has become a kind of Rorschach Test
about the core message of Jesus. Was Jesus primarily interested in grace or truth?

If a person is on team truth, then they quote Jesus saying, “Go and sin no more.”

If they are on team grace, then they quote Jesus saying, “Neither do I condemn you.”

Of course, part of the point is that Jesus brings these two things together in a
transformative way. The prologue to John’s gospel says that Jesus came “full of grace
and truth.”

Movement as Message

Today, however, I want to focus not on Jesus’ message so much as Jesus’ movements in
the story. Or maybe, what Jesus’ movements in the story tell us about his message. And,
what Jesus’ movements in this story can teach us about our own messages that we share
with the world.

The story concludes with Jesus proclaiming a prophetic message–that is, a message full
of grace and truth that transforms a social and religious system.

But before he gets to the prophetic message, he makes two prophetic movements:
● He bends down to write, or draw
● He stands up to speak

The religious leaders brought this woman and set her in front of Jesus. Note that Jesus
often did this with mistreated and marginalized people—bringing them from margins to
the center and lifting them up as examples of God’s kingdom. Biblical scholar Luke
Timothy Johnson calls this pattern, “placing in the midst.” But the leaders here are
using a marginalized person to trap, not to teach.

They are trying to trap Jesus by putting him in a situation that will show his true
colors–his blatant disregard for religious law and social authorities. It would have been
easy for Jesus to defend himself, arguing the finer points of the law and tradition. And
Jesus was not beyond a good theological debate from time to time. But Jesus saw the
game for what it was. He refused to answer in kind. In contrast to the accusers, Jesus
was non-reactive, non-violent, and non-anxious.

The religious leaders came at him with the logic of law and violence. But Jesus
responded with the logic of grace and truth. This is our calling, as well. But it’s much
easier said than done.

Well, even Jesus needed a minute before responding. He wasn’t able to immediately
make the jump from public confrontation to prophetic message. First, he needed what
we might call a prophetic pause.

Watch his movements. They condemn this woman and interrupt Jesus’ teaching to
confront him, demanding a response: “Now what do you say?”

Jesus’ response, neither fight nor flight, his third way, according to the text:

But Jesus bent down

and started to write

on the ground

with his finger

There is all kind of speculation about what Jesus was writing on the ground. Some
speculate it was the names of men among the crowd who had also committed adultery.
Others suggest that he was writing the sins of the accusers. Clever. But it’s all
speculative, and I think, beside the point. I think that the contents of his writing were
not included because they weren’t relevant.

Maybe it was more about Jesus interrupting the anxious and violent interaction so
that he could practice a prophetic pause and ultimately provide a transformative
response.

He does this by grounding himself—literally–and doing something surprising and
creative.

He doesn’t react, he writes.

The Greek word for “write” can also be translated as “draw.”

So he’s writing or drawing something and touching the Earth, in order to:
● center himself
● calm himself
● engage his creativity
● discern the moment
● listen for God’s prompting
● formulate an alternative, prophetic response
● disrupt and differentiate from the dysfunctional domination system at work
around him.

Of course, we don’t know all that was going on within that moment, but I have begun to
see this movement as Jesus creating a prophetic pause so that he can provide a
prophetic response instead of an anxious and angry reaction.

So, I wonder how you—as individuals and as a meeting—practice the prophetic pause.

Ways to Pause

We may or may not have religious leaders coming after us (I hope you don’t), but we are
being constantly confronted with social media and cultural trends and religious debates.
Through our cell phones and computers and billboards and televisions and water cooler
conversations and family holiday gatherings, we are being confronted with controversial
issues and demanding voices, asking “Now what do you say?”

The world is always asking us, “Now what do you say?”

When you are confronted with that question, what do you do?

Maybe coming together for worship is one of those practices of pausing. We interrupt
the noise and anger and anxiety by gathering together to listen to God in scripture and
song and silence. We have face-to-face conversations and we hold one another in the
Light.

Maybe you have spiritual practices you include in your daily life, like reading scripture,
meditating, or spiritual direction. Maybe you take your cue from Jesus and other
spiritual teachers who call us to touch the Earth, from which we came and to which we
return–through hiking, gardening, yoga, etc. My wife and I have chickens—laying
hens—and caring for them is a grounding practice for me.

And maybe Jesus’ writing/drawing activity provides a helpful path for us, as well. Maybe
there is something about creative practices that help us practice a prophetic pause.
Journaling is one of my core spiritual practices and has been for probably 20 years. My
journal is a place where I harvest and record quotes, biblical verses, images, stories,
gratitudes, emotions, etc. and gather them in prayer through weekly journal entries.
When I lose touch with who I am and what I’m called to do, I return to my journal. I
review the things I’ve noticed and written about before and I write a new entry to help
me relocate myself in the narrative of my life and faith.

Journaling can also help us identify and process difficult emotions. Abraham Lincoln
had a practice of writing “hot letters” when he was angry at someone. He would write
the angry letter, get it all out, then write at the end “never sent, never signed.” In an age
when it takes seconds to post our own “hot letters” for all the world to see, maybe old
Abe has something to teach us. Nothing wrong with being angry. And sometimes our
initial response or intuition is the right one. But just as often, we are all better off using
“never sent, never signed.” In the words of one psychologist, we need to use the
“think fast” and the “think slow” parts of our brain.

Journaling is helpful but it’s not the only way to practice the prophetic pause.
Maybe you are more drawn to art and images. Maybe you collage or scrapbook or draw
or paint or practice photography.

You are probably familiar with the famous Quaker painting The Peaceable Kingdom, by
Edward Hicks. You may not know that he actually painted 62 versions of the painting.
They are similar in many ways but each one is different. They often reflect Hick’s own
moods. As a Quaker minister, as well as a painter, he was deeply impacted by the
divisions within Quakerism and how the testimony of peace (in his church and in the
world) often felt elusive. His painting became a creative way to both process his own
feelings of despair and hold onto the promises of peace. Painting was his prophetic
pause.

You may recall that Gandhi stayed grounded using his spinning wheel. He used it to
make clothing but also as civic-spiritual practice. He was going back and forth between
the people and heads of state. He was facing off against an Empire, as well as battling
the urge to resort to violence. Returning to his spinning wheel provided a prophetic
pause that grounded him, gave him a creative outlet, and served as a symbol of
simplicity, independence, and hope.

We all need to name our spinning wheel that helps us stay centered and grounded,
provides a creative outlet, and symbolizes our core values.

I think it’s helpful to identify 2 or 3 creative and spiritual practices you can turn to when
you are confronted by people or situations that trigger you. When you feel attacked or
confused or overwhelmed.

Standing Up and Speaking Up (Or Not)

When we learn to integrate the prophetic pause into our lives, we become the kind of
people who have something worth saying. A prophetic message may emerge from the
prophetic pause, because we took the time to center ourselves, remember who and
whose we are, and discern whether and how we are called to respond.

You see, silence and words are both tools. And they can both be weapons. For example,
silence in the face of injustice can be betrayal. Silence in the face of drama can be
wisdom. Timely words to the wounded can bring healing. But words that interrupt or
ignore the stories of marginalized friends can bring despair.
As the writer of Proverbs puts it: “The power of life and death are in the tongue.”

As Christians, we are taught to have a bias toward action and sharing. We have the great
commission to go and tell people about Jesus’ kingdom message. But it’s worth noting
that, occasionally (maybe rarely, I don’t know) keeping quiet about a spiritual revelation
or message is the faithful response. In the gospels we encounter what’s called the
“messianic secret”–when Jesus would perform a miracle and then say to the person
“don’t tell anyone about this.”

There may have been strategic and practical reasons for this. But folks like Jonathan
Malesic, author of the book Secret Faith in the Public Square, trace a tradition in
Christian thought that argues that being less public about our faith enables us to
preserve the integrity and sincerity of our faith. Especially in a world where our faith is
being used and abused for all kinds of political and economic purposes.

So we speak when we are called to speak, to be sure. And sometimes we simply “let our
lives speak.”

So, like Jesus, we practice the prophetic pause. Then, we shift from stooping down to
standing up:

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one
of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

This story shows that Jesus’ words were “pro-life” in the truest sense–after all, he told
us he came to bring “life to the full.” In scripture, it is satan who is the “accuser of the
brothers and sisters.” Jesus isn’t in that business. The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans,
“there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” This is evident in Jesus’ words to
the woman: “Neither do I condemn you.” The woman’s life is preserved and the lives of
the accusing men are changed (we assume, or at least, we hope). They put down their
stones.

Oh that we could learn to speak in a way that inspires others to put down their stones.

Notice this, as well: Twice Jesus stooped down and twice Jesus stood up.

The first time he confronted the men. The second time he comforted the woman. They
needed different words.

Jesus spoke truth to power. And he spoke powerful truth to the disempowered.

It reminds me of the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus repeats: “You have heard it
said…but I say…” The prophetic pause is the space in between “you have heard it said”
and “but I say.”

You may be familiar with this quote from psychiatrist and holocaust survivor Victor
Frankl: “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our
freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our
freedom.”

I agree. And I also believe it is a space where the Spirit dwells.

I wonder if the Spirit is inviting us to practice the prophetic pause in our life and faith so
that we can cultivate a prophetic voice.

I think the world needs your voice.
I think the world needs your words, your love, your truth, your actions.
The world needs people who have learned the prophetic pause and can thus “straighten
up” and speak up in a way that is full of grace and truth.

Queries

What creative practices help you “practice the prophetic pause”?
How are you being called to “straighten up”/stand up and share your message?
How are you being called to stay quiet about something while you find God’s or your voice about a topic?

Receive a Deep Breath

Last week, Della and I were starting our weekly directors’ meeting as we typically do–with a time of checking-in and prayer. During that time of holding one another and our work in the Light, a word bubbled up from the silence: breathless. I was fighting a cold and my congestion was literally causing me to have “shortness of breath,” but I had a sense that many of the pastors and leaders we seek to serve were also feeling “breathless.”

I got a strong sense that many of you are feeling breathless:
-after years of “unprecedented times” that never seem to normalize
-after struggling to stay creative in your ministry
-after having to serve outside your gifting for so long
-after feeling misunderstood and constantly criticized
-after fighting entrenched systems and unjust power structures
-after neglecting self-care and family time
-after absorbing second-hand trauma from those you care for

I also got a strong sense that God wants to breathe new life into you and we were being invited to pray for you. So we did. And we imagined God breathing new life into you and the environments in which you live and lead. I hope it encourages you to know you are not forgotten–that we keep you in mind and in our prayers and in our work. But also, I hope it encourages you to know that you are on God’s mind.

I don’t think God wants us to live breathlessly. I think God is ever-breathing into the world, circulating and transforming the air in which we “live and move and have our being.” There are many biblical images of this divine breath (ruach) or Spirit, starting with the Genesis image of God breathing life-creating breath into the first human creatures to make them “living beings.”

After his resurrection, John’s gospel has Jesus appearing to his disciples–traumatized, exhausted, confused. And what does Jesus do? “And with that, he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’ ” (Jn. 20:22).

We use the language of “taking a deep breath,” and that makes sense because it does require a level of intentionality. But maybe the invitation should be “receive a deep breath,” because it also requires a level of receptivity.

Take a moment and breathe. God and life-giving people are breathing all around you and creating an atmosphere of grace (even though there is no shortage of pollution and toxicity in the world). Let it flow into your body and mind and spirit. Maybe God is the Deep Breath of the Universe and is inviting you to receive grace, energy, creativity, and peace.

Suggested breath prayer:

Breathing In: “Receive”
Breathing Out: “the Holy Spirit” (or new life, divine breath)

Honor Your Leadership Lineage

FRIENDLY REMINDER: A weekly reflection from the Quaker Leadership Center.

Honor Your Leadership Lineage.

Since Quakers aren’t known for celebrating special days and holy calendars, I will let you in on a few dates. Yesterday was Reformation Sunday–a day when Reformed Christians celebrate a legacy of “reformed and ever-reforming” (what are we: Friended and always be-Friending?). Tomorrow is All Saints Day, during which many Christians celebrate the “communion of saints.” And October was Pastor Appreciation Month, a time for supporting and celebrating clergy folks who provide spiritual nurture in congregations around the world.

What do all of these have to do with Quaker leadership? They are liturgical reminders to honor our leadership lineage.

Writer Linda Hogan put it this way: “Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.” All of you are great leaders. But none of you made it by yourself. Indeed, we are all the “result of the love of thousands.” It’s worth taking the time to acknowledge a couple of them.

You are probably familiar with the ancient commandment, “honor thy father and mother.” I happen to like Evan Moffic’s paraphrase: “Honor those who gave you life.” We don’t all have parents who gave us the stability and nurture we needed, but we all have people who cared for us, invested in us, and helped us find our way. When we couldn’t find the Light Within, they helped us journey through the darkness. When we faltered in walking in the Light we were given, they cheered us on to take a next step. When we were tempted to hide our Light under a bushel or rush ahead of the Guide, they offered a timely word of wisdom.

Before we met them, they had already a decision to be a life-giving, Light-affirming person in the world. That is worthy of thanks and honor. And it’s worth making that commitment for those who come after us. In the cycle of leadership, our lineage turns into a legacy.

Some of us need some new nurture, and there’s absolutely no shame is seeking it. Others of us are in a season of nurturing a new generation of leadership, a hard but holy task. Both are ways of honoring our lineage–those who gave us life.

What is your life and leadership lineage? Who has supported you in your personal and professional growth? How are you being invited to honor them?